Is everything Ruined?
by snowbaby921
Summary: Sirius Black was in love and dating his best friend for a couple of years. In one day so much changed. Will everything work out or is everything ruined. Please read Warnings inside. if you don't like don't read. This is Slash. and MPREG. SB/JP, SB/SS.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: My other story in progress will be updates once a week, every weekend. This one as well. I am putting up this chapter early and will add another when the weekend arrives. Hope everyone likes it. **

**Summary: Sirius Black was in love. His relationship was going great or so he thought. Something unexpected happens to him. How will everything turn out. SB/JP, SB/SS**

**Warnings: Slash (male/male relationship), Sexual content. MPREG. This starts in the marauders era and continues into later life with a time skip in between. Some people who died in the original story line are alive and well. If you don't like any of these warning please do not read. Please do not FLAME. If you don't like than just read a different story thank you. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Harry Potter universe, but oh how I wish I did. **

**Chapter 1:**

Sirius Black came from a very nasty family, whose belief's were far from his own. They hated everything to do with Muggles, and they hated gay's even worse. Two things Sirius himself didn't mind. He had plenty of Muggle friends and he himself was gay. He had been dating his best friend James Potter for a couple of years now, in secret of course. That was how James wanted it to be. The only people that knew were his friends Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

So Sirius had to live with seeing girls flirting with James all the time and trying to be with him. He didn't really mind that all to much because at the end of the day James was still his. He knew James has had a long lasting crush on Lily Evans also, but he never really thought he had to worry all that much about her either cause again at the end of the day James was still his.

Right now he stood in his dorm room alone, staring into a mirror. He turned one way and then another with his shirt off trying to figure out what was wrong. He had been feeling slightly different for a couple weeks now and he wasn't sure why. His stomach, which used to be flat with very defined muscles, was now slightly flabby and starting to round out. He thought eating less would help but every time he would try he just would be more hungry than he ever had before, finding himself down in the kitchens late at night filling himself up.

"Sirius are you still in there. Let me in the door is locked." He heard yelled on the other side of the door. He sighed and put his shirt back on, resigned to trying to figure out his problem later. Right now he just wanted his boyfriend.

"Hey James." He smiled as he unlocked and opened the door seeing his boyfriend standing waiting for him.

"Hey. Why was the door locked?" James asked looking around behind him.

"I have no idea. Maybe someone locked it on their way out." Sirius stated as he leaned in for a kiss, only to have James turn around right before. Sirius cocked his head in confusion but shook it off for the moment.

"You ready for breakfast?" James asked as he started to walk away.

"As ready as I will ever be. Let's see what we can do today to good ol' Snivellus" Sirius laughed wanting to have a good day.

The two boys made their way down to the Great Hall all ready to eat when they were stopped by Lily, who apparently wanted to speak to James alone for some reason. Sirius smiled the best he could and walked away, turning around every few seconds. When he made it the the doors of the Great Hall he turned around one last time but didn't see James or Lily any where. His heart dropped. This was the first time Lily wanted to talk to James alone, willingly, and he didn't like it one bit.

He sat down next to Remus and saw the other boy look at him with concern. He nodded to his friends and placed food onto his plate. He didn't feel like eating anymore. His stomach was upset and he didn't even think he could sit here any longer.

"I don't feel well. I'm going to see the nurse." He pushed his plate away from him and left before Remus had a chance to talk to him.

Slowly he made his way to the hospital wing but not before running into one of the bathrooms and throwing up. This has been happening all to often as well and he didn't like it one bit. After washing his mouth out and taking another look in the mirror he left.

"Mr. Black what is it today?" Madam Pomfrey asked showing him to one of the beds.

"I haven't been feeling well lately. Been getting sick at the worst times and always dizzy." He stated.

"Well let me run some diagnostics on you and I will let you know what is wrong." Sirius sat on the bed for what seemed like forever as she ran her wand along the length of him, shacking her head and eyes going wide.

He sat in that room as she explained what was wrong, only making it worse with every word that came out of her mouth. He didn't know what the hell he was going to do. Had no idea. All he could think about was James. He needed to talk to his boyfriend and he needed to do it right now.

"May I leave?" He asked as politely as he could. She nodded yes but told him he needed to come back every week to see her, he hated that idea more than anything.

His mind was in a haze when he finally made it back to his common room, everyone else was in classes and he knew he should have went himself but he couldn't face everyone right now. He needed to find some concealing charms for the weeks to come or everyone would know. As he was sitting on his bed, books open in front of him, skimming the pages, the door opened. He slightly smiled when he saw James there, but that turned into a frown when he saw the other boy turn and lock the door. The expression on his face told him he was not going to enjoy this.

"Sirius we need to talk." James said sitting down across from him. Sirius quickly shut all the books and threw them under his bed, not wanting James to see what he was reading. He saw James face fall for a moment and then their eyes locked. Sirius could see James was upset about something, but he didn't understand what it could be.

"What did you want to talk about James?" He asked reaching over to grab Jame's hand only to have it out of his reach a moment later. "What is going on with you lately James?" Sirius asked worry etched onto his face.

"Lily and I have been talking a lot recently. She has said I have matured a lot in the last year and wanted to get to know me better away from everyone else. She pulled me aside this morning and finally wants to be with me Sirius. Do you understand what this means?" James asked excitement written all over his face, the sadness gone completely.

Sirius felt like his world was crashing down around him. His hand instinctively went to his stomach when his thoughts started to get away from him. He knew what this meant, but James really had no idea.

"Yes." He finally replied not looking at James, just down at his hand.

"I can have a family with her, children. I have wanted her for so long. Sirius I know we have been seeing each other for awhile, but it was fun right? I mean we both know we would have to move on and find a woman to marry, have kids, carry on our names. Sirius?" James finally looked at him after his happy rambling and saw tears streaking down his friends face.

"Get out James. Leave me alone for awhile please." Sirius whispered.

"Sirius I'm so sorry but you know how long I have wanted this." James placed a hand on Sirius shoulder just to have it harshly brushed off.

"Go be with her. Leave me the hell alone James." Sirius pulled his wand out and pointed it at James, making the other boy back off the bed and slowly towards the door.

"Sirius please don't do this. We can still be friends. We have been best friends forever." James pleaded.

"You have no idea what you are doing to me do you? You think this was just a fling for me, a good time. I love you James Potter. Get the hell out." Sirius screamed. James tried walking towards him again but Sirius cast a spell at him that threw him back into the door. James quickly fled leaving Sirius crying alone on the bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: To those of you who have left reviews and have favored or followed already Thank you. My muse hit and writing another chapter today, early. It is quiet here so here we go. **

**Chapter 2:**

Sirius awoke to Remus sitting at the end of his bed reading a book. When he shifted Remus turned towards him and caught his eye. He looked worried and Sirius could only imagine what James had told their friend. He closed his eyes one more time, taking a deep breath, before this conversation was started.

"James is off with Lily and Peter is off who knows where again. What is wrong Sirius." Remus asked placing a hand on his friends leg when he sat up.

"James broke things off with me to be with Lily." Sirius answered eyes downcast, not wanting to look at Remus.

"Oh. Why you so upset about it though?" Remus asked but shut his mouth when Sirius scowled at him.

"I loved him. Did no body know this. Of all people I thought you would. You have seen us together for the past couple years. How long was my relationships before that, not long at all. He has broken my heart and doesn't even care." His hand went to his stomach and he moved around to pull the blanket over himself.

"Did you ever tell him that you loved him? I thought not." Remus replied when Sirius didn't respond. "Then how was he supposed to know it meant more to you than what he thought it was? Your his best friend Sirius, you have to talk to him eventually. We have one more year left of school." Remus stated.

"If I am even here for the whole time. I have to speak to Dumbledore about something and I may have to leave." Sirius stated.

"Talk to him about what. What would you say to him that would make you leave the school?" Remus asked looking worried yet again.

"You have to promise on your life Remus you can't tell anyone, and I mean anyone, not even James. If I find out you do I will hex you and never speak to you again. I will make it my mission to make your life miserable." Sirius spat out.

"I promise wow. This must be big." Remus laid his book down and turned to face Sirius.

"I'm pregnant. Yes it is James." Sirius said staring into Remus' eyes and seeing them grow wide as his mouth opened in shock.

"You have to tell him, he has the right to know." Remus frantically stated.

"No. He doesn't not have the right to know now. This is my child Remus. Mine. Your swore you wouldn't tell. I have to go. Please don't tell James or anyone Remus." With that Sirius left the tower and made his way out to speak to Dumbledore.

Once he made it to the Headmasters office he sat in the chair across from the old wizard's desk and waited for him to speak. He knew Madam Pomfrey already talked to him once he left the Hospital wing. He was just too afraid to open his mouth, thinking he would have to leave the school because of his condition.

"Mr. Black, Sirius. I heard about your...Situation. Do you know who the other father of your child is?" Sirius nodded. "Would you mind telling me?" Sirius shook his head no. "I see. How do you plan on going through this pregnancy alone, giving birth and raising this child?"

"Just like that Sir, alone. I was hoping I could stay in school and graduate this year with my peers. Find a job once I leave and a place for myself and my child and raise it on my own. I don't want the other father to know, he doesn't have that right any longer. I'm sorry but that is just how I feel." Sirius answered truthfully.

"I understand. I can't force you to tell the other father, but I wish at some point, for the child's sake, you would re-consider. Now about your schooling. You shall remain here, you can decide if you want to put concealing charms on your self once you start showing, so no one else finds out. Do you know when you are due?" He asked.

"Sometime in March, Sir. I conceived around June. I should start showing soon also and the charms would be great to know." Sirius responded.

"So when the baby is due we will have to take you to Saint Mungo's. They know more about delivering a male pregnancy than Madam Pomfrey. We will give you a leave, let people think you have a family emergency at that time. If by then you decide to inform the father or would like one of your other friends to go with you, please let me know. Now off you go, and congratulations Mr. Black." Sirius nodded his head and walked out of the office then, sighing in relief that he was able to finish his schooling.

For the next couple weeks Sirius found himself in the library researching concealing charms for when he started showing, and he knew it was going to be soon. He was getting frustrated however, because he still had all his other course work to do as well. He was trying to do good this year, he wanted to get good grades and graduate with something that would help him find a decent job when he left. He growled in frustration as his stomach protested with him to take a brake.

"Having trouble Black?" He heard over his shoulder and turned around, already knowing who it was going to be.

"Snape, just leave me alone." He turned back around not willing to fight today, needing to get the information he needed so he didn't have to keep putting his other work off.

He could feel the Slytherin looking over his shoulder at the book laid out on the table. He quickly shut the books and placed them in his bag, knowing going to the dorm room would not be as quiet, but would get Snape away from him.

"Concealing Charms? What would you need to be looking them up for Black? They for some nasty prank you planning on doing?" Snape instigated following Sirius out of the library.

"No. Why do you need to stick your big nose into my business for anyway Snape." He was trying to get away from the other boy as fast as possible and wasn't paying attention to where he was going.

"Black!" He heard Snape shout but tried ignoring him, only to trip on some stairs he didn't notice and fall on his stomach, hands coming out a little to late.

"Fuck. Ow." Sirius wrapped his arms around his stomach as pain shot around him. He couldn't move, didn't know what to do.

"Black are you alright?" Snape asked from behind him.

"Madam Pomfrey, get her please." Sirius pleaded.

"That will take to long." Sirius didn't know what Snape meant until he felt him self levitating off the groud and moving in the air. He couldn't help but think why Snape would help him at all, let alone levitate him to the infirmary.

"Mr. Snape what are you... Oh my. Lay him down on that bed there. What happened?"

"He was walking away from me really fast and he didn't see some stairs and fell on his stomach. He has been gripping it like he is in pain ever since." Snape replied.

"Alright thank you for bringing him here, now get to class Severus." She shooed the boy out and Sirius was very grateful for that.

"Sirius where does it hurt darling?" He heard the nurse ask.

"My stomach. It hurts so much. Is the baby going to be alright?" He asked worry etching his face and tears streaking down it. He saw a light from a wand moving over him and heard a sigh coming from the nurse.

"The baby looks fine. Think you just gave it a little scare. You are going to be very delicate now being almost three months along. You really need to be more careful Mr. Black." She stated. "Now I want you to take this potion and I'm going to keep you here for the night and see how things go. Rest." She smiled at him as he downed the potion and snuggled into the bed.

Little did they know that Severus was still standing on the other side of the door, now with his mouth hanging open and eyes wide. "Pregnant?"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you for the great reviews so far. And here I go another chapter early. Hope you all like. **

**Chapter 3:**

The sun was shining into the window as Sirius rolled onto his side. He couldn't help it, he couldn't go to breakfast this morning and see James with Lily. It would've hurt to much to see the guy he loved and had to himself just a couple days ago all lovey dovey with someone else so soon. He hated that he felt this way, everything in him was telling him to be a damn man and go down there, face the problem head on and move on. He just didn't know how to do that without crying like a little girl.

He was also scared that Remus would continue to try and get him to tell James about the baby. He knew his friend meant well but he didn't understand what he thought. He didn't want James to leave Lily just because of the baby, duty and all that jazz that he would say. He wanted James to come back to him on his own because he loved him, because he wanted to be with him and no one else. He just knew now that he finally had Lily, James wouldn't be back. They would get married and have children of their own, grow old together and then die, leaving Sirius out in the cold with a bastard child.

He shook his head when he thought that. His child was no bastard. James may never be around and never know of this baby but at least he knew who the other father was. This child would be loved with everything he had within him and nothing would ever change that.

Finally he pulled himself up from the bed and decided to go to the kitchens for some food. His stomach was growling and he knew the baby was hungry, he needed to take care of himself if he didn't want to hurt it. He quickly would look around corners to make sure no one was around, all the way until he was safely sitting at a table waiting for a house elf to bring him his food.

The door slowly opened behind him and he didn't hear anything until a hand rested upon his shoulder. Nearly jumping out of his skin he turned around and scowled.

"What are you doing here Snape?" He spat out and saw the weird expression on the other boys face.

"Wanted to make sure you were alright after yesterday. I see you are however so I will just leave now." Severus stated turning away.

"Why do you care? Thank you anyway for bringing me up there, you didn't have to." Sirius found himself saying. He did appreciate Snape taking him instead of just leaving him on the library floor.

"You were in great pain which I did not cause so I knew you needed to get there quickly. Like I said before, Glad you are alright." Severus stated.

"Would you. Would you care to join me?" Sirius couldn't believe he just said that.

"Only if you tell me one thing." Severus said.

"Alright?" Depends on what it is." Sirius replied.

"How does it feel to be with child?" Sirius face dropped and his fists clenched. How the hell did he know.

"You little snake. You listened to my conversation in the hospital wing after you left. How dare you." Sirius was getting angry, he could feel his face turning red.

"I'm sorry. It was too good of an opportunity to find out what was causing you pain like that. So how does it feel like. It's fascinating a male being pregnant. I've read about it happening in the history books but never knew someone it has happened to. Who's the father?" Severus tried again.

"Wouldn't you like to know. Go around and tell everyone who has Sirius Black up the duff. Pregnant and alone. Get out of here Snape."

"Alone. The other father isn't helping support you with this?" Severus sat down after hearing that. Who would want to leave someone having their child?

"It doesn't matter. It never will. He left me and is happy with someone else. He is never going to know and you are never going to tell anyone about this or I will hex your balls off Snape."

Severus put his hands up in front of him in surrender, showing he didn't mean any harm or ill intent to Sirius or his child.

"You need someone that can help you if you need it. Watch out for you. Is that why you were looking up concealment charms yesterday? I can help with those. I know one that will last twenty four hours. We could meet up every night before curfew and I could place it on you."

Sirius scrunched up his eyes in confusion. Trying to figure out why Snape would want to help him, see him everyday and do this for him. After everything that him and his friends have done to humiliate Snape he knew there had to be something in this for him.

"And what do you want for your generosity Snape?" Sirius asked seeing the dark haired boy blush slightly before looking away.

"Nothing, just thought you would want some help. If not that is fine. If you do I will be in the library twenty minutes before curfew, that should give me enough time to put the charm on you. If I don't see you there then I know you don't want my help. But you are starting to show." Severus said nodding towards Sirius stomach that was poking out just a tiny bit from his tight shirt.

Sirius self consciously started pulling on the end of it to bring it over his stomach, blushing slightly. He grabbed his cloak and stood up from the chair, Having ate while they were talking and threw the cloak over himself. He stood there for a few minutes looking at Snape trying to figure him out.

"Fine. I will see you there tonight, but any funny business from you I will not hesitate to hut you Snape." He nodded to the other boy and walked away.

He couldn't believe his luck. He didn't want anyone else to know but maybe this would turn out alright. Snape was pretty good at charms and should know what he is doing as not to hurt him or the baby. He just hoped he didn't end up regretting this later on. He just had to make sure no one saw them together and give no one reason to start asking questions.

He made his way to his first class and sat in the back of the room. Remus came in and sat down next to him, looking at him strangely.

"What?" He snapped.

"You weren't at breakfast. Was worried about you is all." Remus stated.

"Couldn't go in there this morning. Ate in the kitchens. Sorry Remus. How was." He stopped mid sentence when he saw Lily walk in, James holding the door open for her and grab her hand after wards.

His eyes never leaving the other boy as they passed, Lily giggling as James whispered something into her ear. Pulling out the seat for her and pushing it in as she sat down, smiling up at him. Continued to watch him as he sat down next to her and quickly looked back towards him and Remus smiling.

Sirius had to blink back tears, just thinking why couldn't that be him. Why couldn't James love him and be like that with him. Stupid hormones made Sirius slam his head on his desk trying not to kill himself.

"It will be alright Sirius." He heard Remus say next to him and he slowly rubbed his back.

"No it won't. It never will be. I just don't understand why he couldn't just love me and stay with me. To go behind my back and talk to her while we were still together. Break my heart out of no where with no warning." He placed his hand on his stomach, feeling like he was going to get sick.

"Maybe you should talk to him Sirius. Let him know. Maybe." Sirius interrupted him with a hand held in front of his face.

"No. he can't know and he won't know about this Remus. You promised. If he came back to me after finding this out it would only be out of guilt. He would hate me later on and I can't take that." Sirius stated.

"I understand. Why is Snape looking over here?" Remus asked making Sirius look up to the front of the class where he knew Snape sat. He saw the other boy lock eyes with him and quickly look away.

"I have no idea. He helped me get to the nurse yesterday, so maybe is making sure I'm still alive."

"He helped you?" Remus asked shock showing in his voice.

"Yeah."

"Why would he do that. No offense Sirius but you guys hate each other." Remus responded.

"Yeah I know. I don't know why he did it. I'm just glad he did. Now lets pay attention. I need to pass these classes this year." He said watching the smile spread across Remus face when he said this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

Sirius was pacing outside the library doors. He was trying to decide if it would be safe to listen and let Snape help him, or just turn around and do this all on his own. He placed his hand on his stomach. It was really starting to show. His usually flat ab muscles were now slightly protruding out and he wouldn't be able to cover it up much longer with his robes. Most definitely wouldn't be able to cover it up on the weekends when he didn't need to wear them at all. He finally decided to go into the library and find Snape. He looked around and saw the other boy at the back of the library, slightly behind the last row of stacks.

"Didn't think you were going to show. I was just about to pack up and leave. Sit." Snape said as Sirius reached the back table.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to come or not either. I finally decided I did need help with the charms. Are you still willing to help me out?" He asked watching Snape closely.

"Yes. Now lift up your robes a little and let me see your stomach. I have to place the charm directly on the part of the body you want to conceal." Snape stated wand already out.

Sirius sat there a moment longer, thinking. He wanted to trust Snape, but he had been his enemy all his school life and he wanted his baby to be safe. He could see that Snape was getting impatient and he slowly lifted up his robes, he needed to cover this up and Snape was his only option.

"Wow." Snape said amazement on his face.

"What?" Sirius started to feel self conscious and was slowly pulling his robes down until Snape reached out quickly and held them up.

"Your stomach. You can see it starting to round out. Amazing." Snape looked up into Sirius eyes just then and Sirius couldn't help but slightly gasp as they made contact with his own. He could feel himself blush and look away.

"I. Can we just get this over with please." He stated hearing Snape clear his throat.

"Yes." Snape replied and picked his wand back up. He began the incantation quietly while moving his wand over Sirius stomach. He felt the area grow slightly warm and then it stopped.

"Done." Snape stated. Sirius looked down and could still see the slight bump there. His face dropped thinking it didn't work. "You and I can still see your bump. I made it so everyone else can't. I just thought you would like to be able to look down and know your baby is still there."

"And what about your reason for letting you still see it?" Sirius asked looking up at the other boy.

"If I am to keep an eye on you and help you out, I will need to be able to make sure I can see everything that is happening as well. Goodnight Black." Snape said and picked his things up quickly and walked away, but not before Sirius saw the blush on Snape's face as well.

Sirius finally made it back to to his dorm to the other boys laughing and joking. He almost got hit in the stomach by a passing boy and jumped out of the way, scowling at the other one. He saw Remus' face drop at this and looked over at James.

"So you finally got the bird you have been wanting since first year James?" He heard one of the boys ask.

"Yeah. She finally came up to me and asked me out. Can you believe it. I finally stopped trying and she came to me. Saying she saw a change in me and that I was more mature." He laughed at this and ate some sweets.

"More mature. You? That is a laugh." Sirius heard himself saying before he could stop, making the other boys finally look at him.

"Oh. When did you get back Sirius?" James asked like nothing was wrong.

"Does it matter. Not to you it doesn't. I still say you are no more mature than you were before when she still hated you." Sirius stated as he climbed into bed, pulling the covers over his body.

"And what makes you say that Sirius?" James looked at him,, challenging him to say something.

"You should know." Sirius stated. "But just for being clueless shows you are not mature yet." He rolled over and ignored the other boys in the room, still listening but pretending to fall asleep.

"What is wrong with him?" He heard one boy ask.

"Nothing a little shagging won't help I suppose. Always thinking with his cock and not his head that one." He heard James say making his heart hurt.

"So how is Lily in the sack James?" One boy laughed.

"Haven't gotten that far, but soon I hope. Has to be better then the others I've had, since I love her an all." Sirius swore underneath his breath and tried to keep the tears at bay. His stomach jolted and he knew he was about to get sick.

He bolted upright and ran to the bathroom, letting everything from his stomach go into the toilet. He knelt down onto the floor and placed his head in his hands. He heard the door open and quickly jumped up, spinning around to see James standing there looking at him.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked looking towards the toilet. Sirius quickly reached over and flushed it. Hating that James saw. "Are you sick?"

"What do you care for anyway. Just keep ignoring me like you have been." He started to walk past the other boy but stopped when a hand landed on his arm. He looked down at it and then up into James' eyes. His heart stopped when he stared into those eyes, ones he used to be able to stare into when ever he wanted.

"Let me go James." He whispered.

"What is wrong with you Sirius?" James asked hand moving down his arm and rested on his side. Sirius jumped away, not wanting James to feel his stomach.

"Just leave me alone. You lost your right to care about me when you discarded me for Lily." He stated then almost ran out of the bathroom and back to his bed. He closed his eyes after closing his curtains and prayed he could get a good nights sleep.

That didn't happen. He awoke a couple of hours later, restless and having nightmares. He gave up on going back to sleep and laid on his bed just staring at the ceiling. His thoughts continued to go towards Snape. He couldn't fathom why the Slytherin boy that he had tortured and abused all through school wanted to help him. He seemed genuine in his care and concern however.

Morning finally came and the other boys in the dorm started to wake. He opened his curtains when he thought everyone was out of the room only to come face to face with Remus. The other boy was looking at him sternly.

"James is rather upset with you." He stated making Sirius look at him confused.

"Why would he be upset with me?" Sirius asked.

"He thinks you are making yourself sick because of him. He thinks that you are mooning after him."

"Yeah well you know better than that. I wish I could move on but I have a permanent reminder of our time together now don't I." Sirius stated placing his hand on his stomach.

"Are you sure you are even pregnant. Your not showing." Remus asked looking at his hand.

"I am. I would never lie about something like that. I have a charm on me." He responded before standing up.

"You don't know how to do such things. Did you go to Pomfrey?" Remus asked following Sirius.

"No. Snape helped me. He put it on. I can still see the bump." He replied rubbing his hand over the slight bump.

"You let him put a charm on you with out knowing what could happen. With no one there to witness. Are you insane." at that Sirius stopped walking and spun around.

"Well it seemed like no one else would help me. I can't just go to certain people and tell them what is going on with out it getting back to James. I sometimes wish I never told you. All you do is try to guilt me into telling him and yell at me. Se... Snape has offered to help me and he seems sincere about it. Nothing happened with the charm, I'm fine, my baby is fine now just leave me alone." Sirius stormed off and headed to the kitchens. He didn't feel all that sociable right now to eat in the Great Hall.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Went back to last chapter and fixed some spelling and other things. **

**Chapter 5:**

Sirius looked at the table in the kitchen and his stomach growled. It held everything he loved to eat for breakfast. Hot cakes the size of houses, sausages, bacon with tones of syrup for everything all of it. It even had some sweets laying off to the side ready for him to devourer. A smile stretched across his face knowing the other students weren't getting a lot of this in the Great Hall. The breakfasts up there were all right but nothing compared to the spread in front of him.

Coming down here and not sitting with anyone from his house everyday would definitely be worth it. He was even thinking of spending his lunch and dinner breaks down here as well. Maybe he would even sneak down for a late night snack every once in a while may not hurt either.

He was half way through with eating when he looked at the clock and saw he had to get to class. He stuffed some sweets into a container and placed them in his bag to snack on through out the day. He quickly left the kitchens and headed to potions. When he arrived everyone was waiting in the hall for the Professor to let them in, James, Remus and Peter were off to the side and he stopped. He didn't feel like standing over there and found himself standing near the Slytherin's.

Looking up his eyes caught Snape's and he couldn't help but smile a little. When Snape saw this he quickly looked away and this made Sirius upset for some reason. Realizing that the only time he would probably talk to the other boy would be at night to do the charm.

When the Professor finally came and let them into the room, Sirius waited for everyone else to enter before he did, better chance at getting the table at the back of the room alone. To his surprise the only seat in the back left was next to Snape. He couldn't help but think this was odd, since Snape always sat at the front of the room, either alone or with one of his housemates.

He took the seat next to him and placed his books onto the table, glancing over to Snape as he did this. He heard the Professor telling everyone to write what was on the board and begin the potion. Sirius went to stand up to get the ingredients but felt a hand on his arm stopping him, looking down he saw Snape standing up shaking his head.

When Snape returned to the table, Sirius already had the book open to the page of the potion, along with his notes out from the board. He saw Snape smile at this as he spread out the things he received from the cupboard.

"I will handle the potion, you just read what I have to do. Don't want to harm." He glanced down to Sirius' stomach and he nodded his head in return.

"Thanks Sev... Snape." He replied making Snape cock an eyebrow at him for almost using his real name.

"How are you and the babe doing today?" Snape asked as they were doing the potion.

"My baby is alright. I'm alright I guess." Sirius stated reading off the next step to Snape when he was done.

"What do you mean you guess? What has happened since last night?" Snape said stopping what he was doing and looking in Sirius' eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it here please. Tonight when we meet up for the charm if you still wish to know then I will talk. It will be nice to talk to someone who isn't judging me." Sirius stated.

"All right. I will give you till tonight to talk to me. Come half hour earlier than last night so we have time." Snape began to work again and Sirius just smiled.

He felt comfortable for some reason about talking to the other boy about things. He knew deep down that he wouldn't go running off telling anyone and it was better than talking to Remus, who continually told him to tell James about the baby. At least Snape didn't know who the other father was yet and couldn't judge him about it. He hated to think what the other boy would say when he did find out, if he ever decided to tell him.

Classes flew by fast for the rest of the day, he spent lunch in the kitchens but decided to try and do dinner in the Great Hall. When he entered the only space left was in between Remus and Peter and right across from James and Lily. His stomach dropped as he walked into the room and saw Lily with her head on James shoulder and the boys arm around her waist.

He hung his head and sat down in the available seat, not looking at anyone and began to place food onto his plate. He tried to ignore the conversations going on around him but it was hard.

"So Lily, we going to Hogsmeade this weekend together?" He heard James ask knowing full well what the answer would be.

"Oh course James. Don't be silly." She laughed.

"Remus, Peter what are the two of you doing?" James asked before grabbing a biscuit and stuffing it into his mouth.

"Just hanging about like we always do." Remus replied. "Sirius what are you doing?" He turned his head to Remus and scowled. He didn't want to be brought into this conversation at all.

"Staying here. Nothing to do out there alone." He replied.

"Why would you be alone Sirius? Won't you be going with Remus and Peter? They are meeting up with James and I later on." He heard Lily ask. He hated her more than ever because she had James now.

"No I will not. And I most definitely won't be meeting up with James. Excuse me I'm not hungry any more." Sirius pushed his plate away before standing up and looking directly at James. He saw the other boy smirk and pull Lily closer to himself. Sirius could feel his heart breaking even more.

"Sirius wait." He heard Remus yell to him as he was walking away, but he just ignored the other boy and left the Great Hall as fast as he could. He decided to grab his school things from his trunk and go to the library now.

He didn't care if he had to sit there for hours before Snape arrived, at least he wouldn't have to sit and watch James with Lily any longer that day. He pulled out his homework and began working on it, he needed good grades this year now that he was going to be a father and needed a good job to support them. When he was done with his last bit of work he heard the chair next to him scrape the floor and he looked up expecting to see Snape, however he was now looking into the cold eyes of James.

"What do you want?" He spat out. Returning his gaze towards his work on the table.

"Why are you being so cold towards Lily, Sirius? She is upset because she thinks she did something to offend you." James stated.

"She stole you away from me. So yes she did do something. I am more mad at you however so just leave me to my work and get the hell away from me." He spat out still not looking over at James. He felt a hand gently placed onto his leg and he looked down.

James' hand was rubbing his leg softly, like he used to do when he knew Sirius was upset about something. It used to calm him right down to have the other boy rub his leg like that, but right now it was making him furious. He didn't want him to touch him, to think he had the liberty to still act as though he cared. He swiftly pushed the hand away from him and scowled over at James.

"Don't touch me. You have no right. Maybe one of these days I will forgive you for doing this to me but not yet, not today." Sirius angrily stated.

"Do what to you. So you say you loved me after I broke up with you. I know it was only a ploy to try and keep me, but you know how long I have loved Lily, how long I have been trying to make her mine. I thought you would be happy for me Sirius, we are best mates." James stated.

"Were best mates James. Not any longer. You broke my heart and... Just leave." He couldn't believe he almost spilled about the baby. He just wanted James to leave so he could wait for Snape.

"Fine." James said standing up quickly, almost knocking the chair back onto the floor. "If that is how you want to be than fine. Don't come crying to me when you need a friend." James stated before storming off. When he reached the door he saw James walk past Snape, but not before stopping and pushing the other boy and his things onto the floor. Snape's bag opening and spilling everything.

Sirius rushed over once James was gone and began helping Snape pick up his things and place them into his bag. He saw the hurt expression on Snape's face and couldn't help but feel upset that he used to treat him the same way.

"I'm sorry for James." He heard himself saying. "And I'm sorry for all the times I did things like this and worse to you." His eyes caught Snape's as he was speaking and he could see the shock behind them.

"As long as you no longer do stupid stuff like that I forgive you. Now let's go to the back and talk." Snape said all business like and Sirius couldn't help but laugh.


	6. Chapter 6 -- very short sorry

**A/N: Happy Easter everyone. Here is a new chapter. Thought I would write it today since won't be able to tomorrow most likely. This is going to be a little short I'm sorry but so much to do today. **

**Chapter 6:**

Sirius sat down next to Snape and took put his things down next to him. He didn't know where to start, but he knew he needed to ask a question of Snape first before he could begin his story, or trust him with what he wanted to tell him. He needed a friend, someone real and that wouldn't turn their back on him when he needed them the most, someone not like Remus or James.

"I have a question before I start." He stated and waited for Snape to look and turn his attention to him. "Why are you being so nice and understanding about all of this? After everything I have done to you every year, I just don't understand how you can seem to forgive and forget all of that." He stated.

Severus looked at him for several minutes, looking directly into his eyes and thought. Sirius could see the wheels turning in the other teens head and started to get worried he may have asked the wrong thing. Maybe he shouldn't have pushed this early and just let him self trust the other.

"Well. I know that you were the ring leader in most if not all the things you four have done to me in the past. I however see that you have slightly grown up and those you trusted as your friends seem to not be around in this time that you need them the most. It only shows me that you have stepped away from being like them and may be worth getting to know." Snape replied not taking his eyes off Sirius the whole time.

"I see. Thank you for being honest with me. I guess you want to know all about this." Sirius stated and rested his hand on his stomach, smiling.

"You don't need to tell me anything you don't want to Black. Just know that I will not repeat anything you say to me." Snape stated and then waited.

"Well the other father left me for someone else. He has liked this person for years and went behind my back still trying to get her to be his. She finally accepted and he told me the day I found out about this little one. I didn't tell him about this, he doesn't know. The only ones that know are you and Remus. He made me think he cared about me and when I told him I loved him he laughed and brushes it aside, thinking I only said that to keep him. Remus thinks I should tell him about that baby, but I don't want him to have anything to hold over me." Sirius stopped talking and saw different expressions pass over Snape's face.

"May I ask who the other father is? I am sorry that happened to you and wish there was something I could do to help. I can only offer my assistance from this point on and let you know I will be here when ever you may need anything." Snape said and when he finished he placed a hand gently on Sirius leg, making the other boy flush.

"If I tell you the father, you have to promise not to show any favoritism when causing him trouble. Act as you always have." Sirius stated.

"I Swear." Snape replied.

"It is James." Sirius couldn't continue to look at Snape as he said this, in fear of what the other boy would say.

"I probably would've guessed him. He is the only person in the whole school I know that is with someone that used to hate him. I just can't believe he would do that to his best friend. I again am sorry Sirius." Snape said rubbing gently where his hand was on Sirius knee.

"It's alright. I am slowly going to get over him. I have my baby to think about now and that is all that matters. I just need to keep James from finding out." Sirius stated. "It is getting late, lets do the charm and then I'm off to bed. Thanks for listening Snape."

Snape nodded his head and raised his wand. Slowly running it over Sirius now exposed stomach. Sirius watched him silently. Hoping that this new friendship was going to work. He liked having Snape for company. Once the charm was done he stood up and grabbed his things, saying goodbye to Snape and getting a nod in return.

He made it back to his dorm and quickly climbed into bed before the other boys entered. He didn't feel like talking to anyone or dealing with Remus' questioning looks. All he wanted to do was move on from James and have a normal life again, but he knew his life was never going to be normal again, not with being a pregnant male and alone.


End file.
